Another year, another Valentine’s Day… It’s a day that can bring so much joy – an opportunity to foster romance and connection in your marriage or relationship. But it can also cause plenty of friction and cost an absolute fortune! A far cry from its heart felt origins, Valentines Day can feel more like a commercial event than a celebration of love, with pressure to spend on expensive gifts, flowers, fancy dinners or even weekends away. Many view it as nothing more than a money-making scheme, driven by ads and retail hype. The truth is, you don’t need to splurge to make the day feel special. There are still ways to make your partner feel loved by celebrating if it feels important for them to do so. There are plenty of ways to express your love that don’t involve burning a hole in your pocket. It’s really about focusing on what matters most – connection, thoughtfulness, and showing you care.
Here are two key considerations to help you navigate this day with maximum enjoyment and minimum expense, enabling you to mark the 14th February in a way that’s truly meaningful and won’t break the bank.
1) Discuss your hopes and expectation s
One of the easiest ways for things to go sideways is if you and your spouse aren’t on the same page about the way Valentines Day should be celebrated. How you each feel about this day is often shaped by your past – maybe one of you grew up with parents who made a big fuss, while the other saw it as “just another day.” Or perhaps past experiences, good or bad, have left you with certain hopes (or fears) about what to expect. Taking a little time to talk about what this day means to each of you, and what you’re hoping for, can go a long way. You can then decide to mark the day with something that both of you will enjoy but fits within your budget, whether it’s a fancy date night or just a quiet evening at home together.
You may be wondering if this takes away from the surprise element and therefore diminishes the romance of the occasion. But in all likelihood, your partner will actually feel incredibly valued through having the opportunity to communicate their inner hopes and heart’s desires. Having that conversation ensures you both feel seen and appreciated. It may also be healing for one or both of you to talk through past disappointments or special to share some of your growing up experiences with your spouse. All this will serve to bring you closer, which is really what Valentine’s Day is all about.
2) Get imaginative with your partner’s love languages
The way you show love matters just as much as the effort you put in. We all give and receive love differently, which is why Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages (gifts, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and words of affirmation) are so important. When you understand your spouse’s love language, you can express your love in a way that truly resonates with them, making your gestures feel even more meaningful. With a little thought and creativity, you can plan a heartfelt Valentine’s Day that speaks directly to the heart of your spouse without spending much (or anything at all!). Here are some simple, budget-friendly ways to celebrate your love in a way that really counts –taking into consideration your partner’s primary love language.
· Gifts: A thoughtful, homemade gift can be even more meaningful than something bought. If you’re creative, a small painting, hand-knitted scarf or piece of pottery could be a keepsake they cherish forever. Cooking their favourite meal or baking a treat they love also shows that you pay attention to what makes them happy.
· Quality time: Set aside dedicated, distraction-free time together. Put away your phones, plan a meaningful activity, and have deep conversations. You could lookup thought-provoking questions online to spark connection or play a conversation-based game like Cards for Conversation. A simple walk at sunset or stargazing picnic in the backyard can also be incredibly romantic.
· Physical touch: If your spouse loves physical touch, a relaxing bath and at-home massage with their favourite scented candles and music can make them feel cherished. You can also create a "Touch Coupon Book" with redeemable coupons for things like long hugs, dedicated cuddle time, or even a foot rub.
· Acts of service: Think about what would truly make their day easier or bring them joy. Surprise them by taking over a chore they dislike, making them breakfast in bed, or running an errand they’ve been putting off. You could also prepare their favourite drink just how they like it or set up a cozy space for them to relax after a long day.
· Words of affirmation: A heartfelt, handwritten letter can be a beautiful keepsake, telling them all the reasons you love and appreciate them. If writing isn’t your strong suit, you could record a short video, speaking from the heart about the impact they’ve had on your life. Leaving little notes around the house –on the bathroom mirror, in their wallet, or on their pillow – can also be a sweet surprise.
(For more on the five Love Languages, check out our blog series here.)
No matter your budget, the key is thoughtfulness. A Valentine’s Day filled with intention and personal touches will always mean more than any expensive gift ever could.