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Friendships change over time, and one of the biggest shifts often happens when a friend gets married. For single people, it can sometimes feel like their married friends have drifted into another world – one filled with date nights, family plans, and couple-focused events. And for married couples, it can be easy to unintentionally slip into a social life that revolves mostly around other couples.
But strong, meaningful friendships between married and single people are not only possible, they’re essential. In a world where more people are staying single longer or choosing not to marry at all, it’s important to nurture relationships that go beyond relationship status.
So how can married couples be intentional about supporting their single friends?
1. Recognise Singleness as a Gift, Not a Waiting Room
In many communities – and definitely in churches – marriage is often seen as the ‘ideal’, while singleness is treated as a temporary season to endure. Single people may find themselves constantly asked, ‘So, are you seeing anyone?’ or ‘When do you think you’ll settle down?’ – as if their current season of life is just a steppingstone to something more important.
The reality is that singleness is not a waiting room; it’s a life stage with its own opportunities, challenges, and joys. In the Bible, both marriage and singleness are affirmed as valuable (1 Corinthians 7:32-35), and Paul writes that all Christians are already whole and complete in Christ (Colossians2:10). Rather than assuming all single people are waiting for a spouse, let’s celebrate the ways they are living full, meaningful lives – whether through their careers, friendships, faith, or service to others.
2. Make Space for Them in Your Life
One of the biggest challenges for singles is feeling left out of social circles that revolve around couples and families. This can be especially tough during weekends, holidays, or major life events.
A simple way to support single friends is to be intentional about including them. Invite them over for dinner, plan group outings that aren’t just for couples, and make sure they know they’re always welcome in your world—whether that means coming over for a casual coffee or joining you for a weekend trip.
Friendship isn’t about life stages; it’s about connection. Being married doesn’t mean you have to separate yourself from the people who’ve been important to you all along.
3. Be a Friend, Not a Matchmaker
It’s natural to want to see your single friends happy, and sometimes that means hoping they find a great partner. But constantly setting them up or implying that their life will ‘really start’ when they meet someone can make them feel like they’re lacking something.
Instead, focus on being a great friend to them as they are – offering encouragement, companionship, and support without an agenda. If they ask for help meeting someone, great! But if they don’t, just be present and enjoy the friendship for what it is.
4. Recognise That Loneliness Can Be Real
Many single people love their independence and embrace the freedom that comes with it. But that doesn’t mean loneliness never creeps in, especially in a world that often centres around romantic relationships.
Rather than assuming your single friends are always fine on their own, check in with them. Ask how they’re doing, be available for deep conversations, and be the kind of friend who sticks around even when life gets busy.
For those in church communities, it’s especially important to make sure single people feel included, not just in social settings but in spiritual ones too. Church should be a place where everyone finds belonging, not just those who are married.
5. Celebrate Their Life Milestones
Marriage, babies, and anniversaries are big milestones that get a lot of attention but single people have their own significant moments too. Promotions, home purchases, personal achievements, and even birthdays deserve just as much celebration!
A great way to support your single friends is to be intentional about recognising their wins. Throw them a party, send them a thoughtful message, or take them out to celebrate just as you would for a married friend’s major milestone.
6. Build a Community That Includes Everyone
At the end of the day, whether we’re single or married, we all need meaningful relationships. Friendships shouldn’t be dictated by marital status—they should be built on mutual care, respect, and shared experiences.
Creating a sense of community means making sure everyone feels like they belong. That might mean hosting dinner parties with a mix of couples and singles, organising group activities that aren’t couple-centric, or simply making sure no one in your circle feels like they’re on the outside looking in.
For those in church settings, this is especially important. A strong, loving church family isn’t made up only of married couples and parents, it’s a place where singles, young and old, find deep relationships, purpose, and support as well.
Being intentional about maintaining and deepening relationships with single friends isn’t just about supporting them – it’s about enriching our own lives, too. Marriage doesn’t mean leaving old friendships behind. If anything, it’s an opportunity to expand and strengthen your community, ensuring that everyone, regardless of their relationship status, feels seen, valued, and included.
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